What Hurts the Most
by xsparks
Summary: Birds are rather peculiar animals, the only bad thing about them is they can’t settle down. Werewolves however, do like some peace and quiet. Remus should’ve known it wouldn’t work. He almost had her, they almost were. But almost doesn’t count, does it?


**Flew away**

**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do**  
-- What Hurts The Most, Rascal Flatts

"One Firewhiskey, please." A man said.

The waitress frowned "But sir, you already had four, isn't that enough?"

"It's enough when I say it's enough!" The man yelled.

As the waitress left, the man sighed. He shouldn't have yelled, yet after a day like today it only seemed natural. September never was gloomier than in 1981. 'T was already one month since the kidnapping. He couldn't bear it. The void he felt, all because of her. Why did he have to fall in love?

Remus Lupin was a man of reason and reason only. Facts mattered far more than emotions, for emotions may deceive you. He was as Sirius putted "a pessimist." To him it was a realist. Not everyone could be like Sirius, James and Peter. Not everyone could live that dream world. And a werewolf certainly cannot.

They were a pack, the four of them, Marauders as Sirius dubbed them in second year. Inseparable, Brothers, he could not imagine his life without those guys. But still. At the end of the day werewolves are rather alone, isolated, at peace. That was in their nature. His nature.

At first he didn't notice her. Not like that anyway. Nobody could _not_ notice her. Dorcas Meadows was her name. Blonde hairs, blue eyes, like a doll. But not as fragile as a doll. No, Dorcas would climb up a tree in a second. A little girl, a wild-child, a bird. She wanted the world. She _deserved _the world. But he couldn't give it to her.

Birds are rather peculiar animals, the only bad thing about them is; they can't settle down. Werewolves however, do like some peace and quiet. Remus should've known it wouldn't work. He almost had her, they almost were. But almost doesn't count, does it?

He watched as a new waitress gave him a Firewhiskey. He wanted to thank her but his throat was too dry too talk. He looked at the window, hoping Dorcas would suddenly walk by. He felt his hart beat faster when someone walked by. It was a fool's hope. And Remus Lupin knew it.

He again sighed.

They started out as a fling, a crush. They'd hold hands in the hallways and people smiled because of their cuteness. They'd give small kisses when nobody was watching; somehow they were the most envied couple in Hogwarts. For a while everything was good. But you must remember birds and werewolves are complete opposites.

He didn't want it to get more serious, after all, if he'd get too attached, and she found out about his furry little problem and left, he'd be heartbroken. But Remus Lupin got attached and didn't realize it.

Dor somehow found out he was a werewolf. She didn't care. Remus did care. And that's when it all got shattered. Around that time Dorcas was getting close with a certain Slytherin. And he knew. He let her go, and let her walk away. Remus just wanted her to be happy.

They remained friends, yet he couldn't help but keep loving her, caring for her, it wasn't ethical not to. She didn't love him like he wanted to, but she did love him. That was all that mattered to him. He had to watch her getting hurt. Had to watch her getting lost. Had to watch the wild bird wanting to settle down. And it wasn't with him.

And then one day after work, Remus got an urgent firecall from Lily. There was a knot in his stomach when he arrived in Potter Manor. He got the news from a sobbing Lily. The tears that run through her face should have said enough. He didn't believe it when she said it…

"They got Dor."

It was like knife cut through his hart.

Repeatedly.

The bird had flown away. But not out of his hart.

And right now, a month after the bird's kidnapping, he still felt his hart was being cut through.

"Another one" he ordered when the waitress came.

"I'll have what he's having." A voice interrupted.

Remus didn't even have to look up from his glass to recognize the voice.

"Lupin."

He looked up. Yep, he was right. The only one who could relate to what he was feeling right now. The only one who knew how the loss of Dorcas felt.

"Snape."

And somehow the two reached an understanding as the waitress served two more Firewhiskey's.

A response to a challenge by **FirePhoenix121**on the forums.

Did you get Snape was the guy Dorcas liked eventually??

Ah well, please review! I'm a newbie so critics are very welcome.

And by the way, this one-shot will somehow have to do with a novel-length fic I'll be writing.

xox- Sparks


End file.
